Thirty One by LeighAnne

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

love ones lost.

Today is a tough day for me. It's been a year since my Grandmother passed away. No words can describe how I feel and the grief and sorrow that I have in my heart. Not for her because I know she is in a much better place than I but for me left here on this earth to go on without her. For my kids who will never understand how much she loved them. I know God blessed me with this wonderful woman to show me the true meaning of a humbled, loving , caring and gracious individual whom I can only hope that one day I become. She was the best Grandmother I could ever have in my life. If you picked all the qualities in a person she would be it. She loved unconditionally no matter what. One thing I will never forget is her hands. They were crippled from arthritis and she was ashamed of them but still when I think of her hands I think of caring hands that made food for her family that held on to mine when I need her to that hugged when I needed it. I will forever have her in my heart. I haven't yet said the g00d b-e word to her and I never will . However I did write this poem to give to her today and I feel the need to share it. It is personal and if you think I shouldn't share it maybe you need to click off my site. I know this is helping me cope with this the best way I can.

Dear Grandmother,

How do I say the words I know I should say
When all I wanted was for you to stay
You were the best Grandmother I could ask for
You were my family, friend and so much more
You meant the world to me is so many ways
That’s why I can’t say what I need to say
I still hold you in my heart so close
I guess that’s why I miss you the most
I have so many memories I can share
And they are all wonderful stories because you care
You never got to see Ace walk and fall
You never got to see Preston play baseball
My children will forever know the love you had for them
I tell them constantly the love you had for her and both him
I know you are up there looking down with a grin
I just wish I could share this life with my friend
You had a heart that was as large as the sky
I just can’t grasp WHY oh WHY
The time has flown by I can’t believe it’s been a year
I know you’ve been here with me through every tear
You shared so much of your life with me
I wish you were here and your smile I could see
But I know God needed you to come home
And We are left here feeling all alone
We live our lives with grief and sorrow
Knowing that there’s always a better tomorrow
I know God picked you out just for me
And I hope you know you still live in me
A piece of my heart is forever gone
But with time and healing your memories will live on
One good thing I have taken from this tragedy
Is when God calls me home YOU’LL be waiting for me
One thing I miss the most is you caring hand
You took pride in your family like no one else can
I hope I can be half the woman you were
Than I’ll know I’m a great person for sure
I will never be able to say the words I should say
All I can tell you is I’ll see you again one day


Romans 5:2-5 says
Because of our faith, Christ has brought us to this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory. We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance . And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

As I leave you this morning I ask one favor. If you are blessed to have your Grandparents still here with you PLEASE PLEASE call them and tell them you love them. They are one of a kind and you never know when they will be called home.


Ginger said...

What a great poem LeighAnne. I think your Grandmother would love it. We love you and I'm thinking about you today.
- Ginger

Adrienne said...

You are a very humble, compassionate, STRONG and wonderful Woman, Mother, Wife & Friend.
You are very brave to share your heart on a blog for everyone to see. And your only objection is to help someone else.
What else could your grandmother or God ask for His child. I KNOW that they are BOTH please with you. And please don't EVER feel like you are alone in feeling like you are alone.
I know how it feels to be in a room full of people or being held by someone who loves you and feel like you are completely alone. You feel like no one sees the REAL you or how you really FEEL because they don't understand how you FEEL. So you put on a happy face that the world expects, but underneath all you want to do is cry. But you can't.
Maybe I need to start my own blog. HA
Remember, I am only a phone call or email away. I love you girl. I know that we don't know each other that well, but I feel like we are sisters in our hearts.
Love you,

cbryant81 said...

Such a touching poem! Unfortunatly I am without mine as well. I lost my Grandmother a little over 8 yrs ago while Pregnant with my first so her Bday is my constant reminder! It's tough but with Prayer and God on your side the pain will lessen as time goes by ...I still miss mine terribly too! You are in my prayers this week !!! ~ Christie

Brandi said...

LeighAnne -
What a beautiful poem! You and your family are continuously in my prayers. Love you!